The Spell
by Blisterdude
Summary: Aayla has often had trouble with the strict interpretation of the Jedi Code. When her feelings get out of control in a recent mission, there is one person she finds she has to talk to.


Just a bit of a one-shot I've had floating around in my head for a while. Thought I'd get it into a submit-worthy shape and roll with it! The title came from a song I had stuck in my head by Harvest.

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The Jedi Order, for as long as any master alive today could remember, had forbidden love.

More accurately, many, many years ago, the High Council of the era had come together to reinterpret the Jedi Code, following a series of wars, conflicts and tragedies which had shaken the Order, and the galaxy, to its core.

It was decided that powerful emotions, including love, were dangerous and uncontrollable. That they held too much potential risk, there was too much lack of control, and that could lead any Jedi, no matter how powerful, to fall to the Dark side.

Of course, not all Jedi agreed. Not all Jedi believed that any living being could force itself to become so like…a machine. Living beings all had feelings. They felt fear, anger, and hatred. But also compassion, care, and love, of course.

Some Jedi felt the Order could be better served training their students to accept and deal with those emotions, instead of shutting them out entirely.

However, those who did were careful to moderate their views, since the High Council was still firmly holding to the method it had for hundreds of years.

Aayla considered herself rather forward thinking, in that regard. After all, everybody needed…to be with somebody, sometimes. For love, for lust…or simply because you felt alone in a temple of…more than she could count, and just couldn't bear it anymore.

Taken from their families as children, or adopted, or found, or wandering through the doors, lost and afraid. Were they supposed to forget it all? Ignore everything?

She supposed most Jedi found their own ways to deal with it. She supposed some could follow the Code to the letter.

Aayla wouldn't.

She considered it an important distinction that it was her choice. She would recall that often, in the times when she wondered whether she was doing the right thing, in the times when she wondered whether she was walking a precipice, all-too-able to drop into the darkness below.

She didn't think she would, though. Not since she'd found those old teachings, all those years ago, by accident in the archives. The thoughts and musings of a Jedi of long ago, Jolee Bindo. His recollections and reflections of his life and the lives of those he knew. He had talked a great deal of Jedi who achieved much, who suffered and fought, but who loved and triumphed.

In the years since, she'd followed up, learning what she could from other Jedi who taught alternatives, variances of the Code. Not flagrant opposition, but ways of being able to…be herself.

She knew more than a few Jedi who thought…felt like she did. None of them were really proclaiming it to the heavens, but sometimes there would be a shared look, a nod, a touch on the shoulder or a gentle clasp of the hand masked as greeting and she would know. She would know she wasn't alone anymore.

That had been made more apparent on her prior mission. She, Master Shaak Ti and Qui-Gon, along with his Padawan, Obi-Wan, had been sent to ensure the failure of an assassination plot against a Senator on his homeworld. They had succeeded, through many trials and dangerous situations.

And other situations that had caused Aayla, personally, more turmoil than she'd ever really expected.

She had been unable to deal with…it…though, since she'd been reassigned right afterward to mediate a dispute with Ki-Adi-Mundi on his homeworld of Cerulea.

Now she was back, though. And now she had to address this.

As she came to a stop at the door to the room that was her destination, she felt surer of that than ever. Taking a deep breath, she tried to set aside the feelings of guilt that still plagued her, a product of the years of training from her childhood. She knew it was a sensation that might take years to train away, but she'd keep trying.

Through the Force, she could realised the person within had felt her presence, and was waiting patiently. Her lekku quivered slightly as her hand touched the panel and the door slid sideways.

Shaak Ti was within, doing a series of slow exercises. The elder Jedi had been raised to the High Council several months prior, throwing many more responsibilities her way, on top of her other duties to the Jedi, and missions beyond the bounds of the Jedi Temple.

And yet, it always surprised Aayla that she still seemed to find time for herself. Shaak Ti was often fondly quoted by the students for saying how important it was to make time for yourself, as well as the Jedi.

Aayla thought she was immensely graceful, taking a moment to watch the Jedi Master gently slide across the mat, her limbs lithe and flexible as she stretched and curled. It was like a dance. Her robes would slip and roll with her movements, conforming to the soft contours of her form.

"Come in, or go." Shaak Ti said, not breaking from her concentration.

"Do you want me to go?" Aayla asked, her hand on the door frame.

"No." Her eyes flashed playfully toward her, and her voice contained the slightest hint of teasing.

The Twi'lek stepped forward, and the door slid closed behind her. Shaak Ti came to a stop, inhaling softly then exhaling as she stretched her arms before her.

"How are you?" Aayla asked, stiltedly.

Inwardly, she berated herself for still being so uncomfortable with all this. Shaak Ti seemed to sense this and smiled at her, sympathetically.

"I am well." The Jedi indicated a folded cloth, before kneeling slowly on one just across from it.

Aayla mimicked her companions actions, kneeling on the cloth indicated. For a minute, neither said anything. Aayla struggling for something to say and Shaak Ti waiting patiently for her, letting her move at her own pace.

There were many things on her mind. Many things she was unsure of. Shaak Ti radiated a certainty that was both comforting and threatening. Aayla wondered sometimes whether she would ever be able to see things like-

"It is not so easy for me, either." Shaak Ti said, coming to her rescue.

"I didn't mean…uh…" Aayla frowned, looking down at her hands. She clenched them together in her lap.

"Look at me." The Togruta insisted, kindly. "Please."

Aayla forced herself to meet the older woman's eyes, and saw nothing but understanding.

"How was Cerulea?"

"Master Ki had the trouble settled quickly. I'm not sure he really needed me."

"We only learn so much, in these walls. The world we strive to better is out there. What we teach here is merely the prelude to the lesson that never truly ends, beyond this temple."

Aayla nodded, hating how she felt her resolution slipping the longer she delayed. She swallowed, finding her mouth suddenly dry.

"You've always been kind to me, Master." Aayla began. "A better friend than most, and though you were not my teacher, you've always found time to guide and help me, and…"

She kept expecting the other Jedi to interrupt, to send her away, but Shaak Ti simply listened. Aayla frowned slightly, as recent events surfaced in her memory.

"When the assassins overcame you and…threatened to kill you, it…" She struggled to sort out her thoughts. "It made me feel…" Aayla tried to find the words, and found she couldn't.

Shaak Ti closed her eyes, placing her palms flat on her thighs. An aura of peace seemed to fill the small room.

"I have watched you for many years, Aayla. I have watched you grow and learn and become a skilled Jedi, an able warrior, a reliable friend and a beautiful woman. I consider it a pleasure to have known you."

"I…" Aayla managed, aware she was blushing as the Togruta continued to smile at her, no trace of insincerity on her face. She could sense no discord in the room.

"I'm sorry if my compliment made you uncomfortable."

Aayla realised her lekku were…reacting of their own accord. She gripped one, out of nervous habit, and tried to focus.

"I kissed you." She said, quietly. "And it wasn't just…you know…"

"Happiness at my wellbeing after your rather audacious rescue attempt?" Shaak Ti grinned slightly.

"Mm." Aayla nodded.

She wasn't sure what else to say. There it was. Once the assassins had taken her hostage, she, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had constructed a rather haphazard plan, but had managed to pull off a risky yet successful rescue, while still ensuring the Senator's safety.

Aayla had rushed to the Jedi Master's side, as she was wounded, while the others secured the assassins. For a brief moment, she had worried Shaak Ti was grievously hurt, and upon discovering she was not, had allowed her emotion to spill forth. She had kissed the woman.

Before that point she had never, beyond her idle fancies or private hopes, entertained or considered any such notions about the Togruta she admired, as a friend, a mentor and…well.

"I rather fancy I was able to discern that for myself, Aayla. I am not…unaware."

Aayla thought for a moment that Shaak Ti was finally going to send her away, or inform the other masters.

Instead, she chuckled.

"We are all living beings, part of the Force. It lives and breathes, flows and shifts. It changes." She held out a red-skinned hand. Aayla stared at it, before placing her own blue one inside it.

"Your hands are soft." Aayla murmured, before she could stop herself. Shaak Ti merely smiled.

"The Force does not judge, despite what some may think." Shaak Ti squeezed her hand gently. "People judge, Aayla, but the Force does not."

"I couldn't imagine losing you." Aayla stated, suddenly feeling more confident. "Back then, when you were hurt. It felt like everything was…gone."

"Your care for me is appreciated." Shaak Ti replied, but Aayla sensed something else in her words. Like the older woman was waiting for something. Waiting for her to say something.

Aayla briefly pondered things. She did care for the Togruta, a great deal more than she felt was considered "proper". She pondered the things she'd been researching, about Jedi, and love, and the Code, and control of feelings.

"It's more than that." She said quietly, looking down.

Aayla tried to retract her hand, only to find Shaak Ti firmly holding onto it. She looked back up at the Togruta, searchingly.

"Do you love me, Aayla?"

Shaak Ti was looking at her intently now, actually seeming somewhat tense. Surprised at her sudden burst of courage, she managed to hold the gaze.

"I don't know." The Twi'lek replied, honestly.

Shaak Ti visibly relaxed, her smile softened once again. Aayla wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but it wasn't any of this.

"I'm glad." The woman breathed, softly.

"Why?"

"We are all raised to deny even acknowledging such things. We are taught to bury feelings, dismiss emotions." The Togruta explained, slowly. Aayla was acutely aware the woman was still holding her hand, and had started to gently massage it with her thumb. "How are any of us to truly know love?"

"I don't know." Aayla replied, again.

"Nor do I, Aayla." The air seemed to fall still. Aayla realised she was holding her breath as Shaak Ti's eyes took on a character she was entirely unfamiliar with. Unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. "Perhaps we can help each other."

"…help…" Aayla repeated, unable to look away.

"The ancient Jedi were said to be able to cast "spells"." Shaak Ti began, suddenly. "To work with the Force in ways we can no longer even guess at."

"Spells?" Aayla asked, momentarily confused.

"An old Jedi, Jolee Bindo, considered love a power all its own. A part of the Force that could strengthen bonds."

"I've read his work."

"I thought you might have." Shaak Ti smiled.

"So…what do we do?"

"Right now, that is up to you." Shaak Ti looked past her, to the door. "If you wish, you can leave this room and we will never discuss this ever again."

Aayla swallowed, glancing down at their hands, still clasped together.

"Or?"

"Or," The Togruta smirked, wryly. ", you can kiss me, and we will work things out as we go, together."

Aayla said nothing. Part of her, her years of Jedi teaching, urged her to get up, turn around, and walk away.

Instead, she shuffled forward on her shins until her knees were almost touching Shaak Ti's. She looked up into the woman's eyes again, and her lekku shivered again. For the first time though, she noticed the Jedi Master's were too.

Aayla's free hand travelled up Shaak Ti's thigh. The woman did nothing to stop her hand as it continued, coming to a rest on her hip. The Twi'lek tried not to flinch as Shaak Ti's free hand found its way to her cheek, the soft red-skinned hand caressed it gently.

She felt a great many things in that moment, and though she was not sure about a lot of them, she was certain that none of this was wrong. That none of it was of the Dark side, or to be feared.

She didn't remember the moment she made the decision, but the next thing she knew, she had leaned forward, and pressed her lips against the Togruta's.

After a few seconds, she pulled back. She found she couldn't stop herself smiling.

This time, Shaak Ti cupped her chin softly, and kissed her.


End file.
